Top ten signs that you have had too much to drink
1.If your neighbor doesn't wake you up while doing yard work then you have had too much.
2.Cone on head and on railroad tracks that guy is seriously messed up.
3.Using your hand as a pillow out in the middle of the street is not good.
4.If you pass out while standing up out in public you have had too much.
5.If you fall asleep on the floor while your feet are propped up then you've had too much.
6.Waking up in the middle of NYC in your underwear and a suitcase.
7.Passing out in a dark alley in a batman costume.
8.Falling asleep while playing an instrument.
9.Passing out in a public restroom with your head in the urinals.
10.Your laying in the middle of the street and no one stops to help you out.

My top 10 list on why you should be an only child!

1) your spoild
2) you get the last cookie in the cookie jar without fighting your bros off it!!
3) you get ALL the attention
4) your the favorite!!
5) you get everything you want
6) your loved
7) no babysitting!!!!!!! yay
8) your the baby
9) you dont have to worry about Black mail
10) you wont get beat up!!!

Top ten signs you are a bad driver

1. when you don't know how to turn your own vehicle.



2. -when the only parking spot you can find has four walls and is full of water.

1. -when the only way to get a cop to stop and get his attention is to test the brakes.















2. when you just get ticked off enough that you want to put your own sunroof in.
   

1. -want a car, with every purchase it comes with a free bull.

1. -hey first one to find a parking spot gets first pick.

1. -hey, did i make it to work on time.

8. -I'm pretty sure there is suppose to be water, and the other way around.

9. -Aw shucks.

10. -dont ask how, cause i dont even know.

better off alone.

The Top Ten signs that you are better off alone.

1.if you are 40 years old and still live at home.

2.If you refuse to shave your uinbrow.

3.if you care more about your online gamer account than your personal hygiene.

4. when you make a phone call and the person you are calling doesn't respond.

5.if people remember you more for the ways you annoy people than any thing else.

6. when you go to a class reunion and weight 400 pounds and everybody says that you have not changed at all.

7. if you talk about nonsense all the time.

8. if you baby talk to your pets instead of talking to people.

9. if you smell like you just climbed out of a dumpster.

10. if the dirt spots on your skin are mistaken for tattoo.

my life movie cast

Family:

Mom:

Heather Locklear as Heather Moenkhoff

I picked Heather Locklear to be my mom. Every time I have ever seen a movie with her in it, I thought of my mom. They both are funny and beautiful. And I think both are very good people.

Step Dad:

Brad Pitt as Terry Moenkhoff

I picked Brad Pitt to be my step dad. They are both blonde, very built guys. And a while back my step dad used to be pretty handsome and good looking. Ha-Ha. And they both seem like funny random characters.

Step Mom:

Lucy Lui as Kim Carpenter

I picked Lucy Lui as Kim. I’m not sure why but she has always reminded me of my step mother. They both are Asian and very pretty.

Dad:

Adam Sandler as Tim Carpenter

I picked Adam Sandler for my dad because they actually look A LOT alike. I don’t look a thing like my father at all. They are both hilarious. Everyone in my family says they could be brothers they are so alike.

Grandparents:

Jack Nicholson and

Betty White

As Allan and Nancy LaSalle

My grandpa is insane. Seriously he is so random and hilarious. He reminds me of Jack Nicholson in very many ways. One time when I was 13, my family went to an amusement park, my grandpa scoped out the park until he found the biggest roller coaster and he rode it. In the Bucket List, Jack Nicholson does some crazy things because he is dying but my grandpa does random things every day. Literally like once every couple months he will pack up and go on a random vacation for a couple days. He is crazy. Betty White is just like my grandma. My nanny is absolutely hilarious. She is kind of like clueless and very gullible but very smart too. She is the sweetest lady anyone will ever meet with the funniest snappiest comebacks.

Siblings:

Mila Kunis as Lindsey Carpenter

Mila Kunis is like an exact replica of my 20 year old sister Lindsey. My sister is funny and pretty and I love her. All the woman in my family are pretty short but Lindsey is definitely the shortest. And she thinks she is “all that” Ha-ha and that’s how Mila Kunis is on that 70’s show.

Mischa Barton as Abby Moenkhoff

My older sister Abby is really funny but she kind of keeps to herself. She does what’s expected of her and not much more. And that’s how I view Mischa Barton. She is a really pretty girl but she looks very shy and just like “well behaved”.

Spencer Breslin as Nicholas Moenkhoff

My brother Nick is so fun. For a 9 year old, he could be my best friend. He is like big teddy bear and he is very sneaky and cute. I love my brother.

And….Noah Carpenter age: 8,

Gabrielle Moenkhoff age: 6,

Nate Carpenter age: 3,

and

Aislyn Carpenter age: 1

As themselves

My Best Friends:

Alicia Silverstone as Brooke Hill

Alicia Silverstone was the star of the movie clueless. That explains it all. My best friend Brooke is so gullible and silly. Me and Hannah are always playing jokes on her.

Julia Stiles as Hannah Wilkerson

They totally remind me of each other. They are both beautiful and tom boyish at the same time.

Boyfriend:

Taylor Lautner as Cody Baldwin

I’m obsessed with the twilight books and I think Jacob Black from the books is my dream boy. He is perfect and you could fall in love with him just from reading the books. In the movie, Taylor Lautner plays Jacob Black. I think my boyfriend is very hot too and I love him so to make Cody be Taylor just seemed to fit.

And i would cast myself as Hayden Panetierre.

I like her alot and think she is a good person. she is a really sweet girl and i wish i could be alot like her.

My life as a movie

1. Micah Wood- played by Jon Heder
2.Steven Wood- played by Curly Howard
3.Leaetta Wood – played by Bonnie Hunt
4.Lynetta Wood- played by Kirsten Dunst
5.Steffani Wood- played by Mara Wilson
6.Marissa Wood- played by Dakota Fanning
7.Shelby Hartley- played by Hailey Duff
8.Jerry Hull- played by Efren Ramirez
9.Jon Brewer- played by Mitchel Musso
10. Daren Bowels- played by Moe Howard

One at the bottom to 9 at the top

Alyshia

1. I put Lisa kudrow as my mother because my mom is quirky and fun to be around.
   

i put Chef Ramsey as my mom's husband because brad is a *&#$% and he also speaks his mind.















Michelle Rodriguez as my right hand girl nicole
she is a rebel and can kick some ace













Drew Berrymore as caressa well ya'll know caressa.




















nicole richie as my step sister amanda because she is a skinny b#$%%.












josh hartnett as my big brother josh because
he is funny and weird










anna faris as my other step sister shelby because
shelby is odd and a dumace and anna faris always
plays thet kind of parts






jared fogle as my stept brother tyrell
because he is always trying to stay fit.
they both have realy anoying voices.









arias as my lil bro colton because
they are realy ornery and eat all the time
but never gain weight.









laura prepon from that 70's show as angela
my dads ex girlfriend because they act the
same just wrong hair color









robin williams as my dad because
my dad is alway being the funny man and
is always doing funny voices









nathan kress as sean my dads ex girlfriend's son
because he plays a high tech person on
icarly and sean is super smart and kknows how to
work any gadget.